Overcoming Trauma with Echoes of Resilience

Trauma is a relatively tricky subject to unfold. This is because the intensity of pain caused by it is far from being measured or quantified. Additionally, the symptoms of trauma might not be apparent sometimes. However, by understanding it, we open doors for healing and self-improvement.

Acknowledging the Stages of Grief

Everyone’s journey through trauma and grief is subjective and cannot be generalized into a defined structure. Our problems and challenges are distinct, and so is our tolerance. There is a psychiatrist named Elizabeth Kubler-Ross who developed a model for overcoming grief in her book. Her explanation is supported by her work with those who had a terminal diagnosis.

Nevertheless, it is crucial to consider that the model does not apply to each person’s situation in a structure. The grieving curve doesn’t have to keep progressing or stay consistent. It is a journey with ups and downs; only you can know your journey better than anyone.

Here are the five standard stages of grief for you to understand the process:

Denial – Finding Comfort in What Doesn’t Exist

When one is suddenly struck by an unfortunate news that they never expected, it is quite normal not to accept it. As humans, we find solace in what comforts us, even if it counters our reality. If anything, this is a defense mechanism of the body trying to absorb the bitterness slowly.

Anger – Our Body’s Way of Unpacking its Baggage

After you are able to accept the reality somehow, your emotions resurface. The pain you had been hiding takes a mask of resentment to express its overwhelming intensity. As we said before, these stages are not a blueprint. Instead, they are a guide for you to understand grief. So, it’s not mandatory for everyone to go through anger. You might or might not.

Bargaining – A Fair Effort to Channel Vulnerability

After the anger or hurt comes the explanations we provide ourselves with. Vulnerability has a specific way to consume you, so you look for answers. You put in efforts to reassure yourselves of the ways you could’ve controlled the drastic situation from happening.

Depression – The Ominous Silence Before the Storm

Unlike the above stages, depression can feel quiet. As our body moves on to accept the reality for how it is and was, sadness becomes apparent. We start realizing the unfortunate nature of the situation. This stage can be similar to the silence that prevails before a storm. In this case, our emotions are the storm. This stage, like others, can be messy. If you feel that you can’t go through this alone, talk to a mental health practitioner.

Acceptance – Learning to Live with Adversity

The last stage is acceptance, but it does not mean that you have moved on from the situation. It is merely a mindset that helps you make peace with your grief—to know that it exists and that you will have to learn to live with your pain.

Handling Grief – A Brief Guide

Everything Fades with Time

When you’re grieving, your emotions might take hold of you and deceive you into thinking that these ugly feelings will stay forever. That’s not the case; nothing in this world is meant to be forever. Don’t let the overwhelming feelings shape your thoughts.

Be Kind to Yourself

Practicing compassion during an adverse time is essential. Often, when things go wrong, we convince ourselves to believe that it’s wrong to feel happy in the chaos. It is important for you to know that you deserve the goodness of life as much as anything else.

Reach Out to The Ones Around You

When faced with challenges, it’s easy to lose sight of the people who love you. We humans are social animals, so it’s okay to seek comfort from other connections that make you feel at ease. Talk to the ones you think can relate to your struggles.

Journaling – An Effective Method

Pouring your thoughts on paper in whatever ways you think are effective helps you learn to navigate the complexities of grief. When you write, you have a record of your present state. Reading your journals at a better time provides proof of your progress. Journaling doesn’t have to be in a written form; you can video/audio record yourself to know the emotions you’re capable of. Assume your journal to be an escape room for your grief.

Read Books that Unfold the Layers of Grief

When you try to fit yourself into someone else’s lens to understand their grief, it helps you deal with your own. Whoever said that books are a man’s best friend was not joking around because they truly are. Books that talk about grief are an important resource to fight your demons. Here are some books that might help you:

1. Somewhere Between ‘JUST FINE’ and the Emergency Room by Sage M. Forman.
2. It’s Okay That You’re Not Okay by Megan Devine
3. The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
4. Bearing the Unbearable by Joanne Cacciatore
5. I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye by Brook Noel

If you are someone who’s grieving and has made it to the end of this blog, you’re already on the right path. It takes a great deal of resilience to take measures for self-help. Indeed, the phenomenon of grief is a complicated one. It takes the life of an individual to face their trials.

Here’s to hoping that there will come a day when you will make terms with your struggles, and your story will provide an inspiration for those with similar challenges.